I hadn't stayed up with my folks to see the new year in. We were prettymad at each other, and I wasn't in any mood to watch the official arrivalof 201... broadcasted live from Times Square. I'd figured that it wouldmanage to get here without my help, and had gone to bed even earlier thanI normally did.I'll spare you the long version of why I was miserable, another MtFtransgender kid coming to that point in life where she's feelingdesperate about her "self" not matching the sex she was physically. ” I tried to reach back in time to find that light-hearted, fun person I used to be. It felt like tickling my fingertips against something just out of reach. “I think I’d like that, Bee.”My pet name for her had just slipped out. Her eyes opened wide. “Really?”I was broken. There was a hole inside me. But in that moment all the jagged bits inside stopped shifting around. I could suddenly breathe easier. Bethany wasn’t asking if she could really stay the night. She was asking if I was really able. I’m quite sure a few coworkers were wondering if I was on something. We hadn’t even been able to talk at lunch, her day wall to wall with meetings. But she’d left me a quick voicemail, later in the afternoon, telling me she was having a similar affect on her secretary. I ducked out of work 20 minutes early and headed straight home, to grab a quick shower and change into something slightly more casual. I’d suggested a semi-fancy restaurant, but she’d counter-offered with a local diner just a few. ‘Jamie, meet James E. Parker, Jr. He doesn’t’ have many manners yet, but he is working on them. This is your son.’ I cried, I couldn’t help it, I just cried. After the horror I had experienced in Iraq, I couldn’t do anything else, but just cry. As Amy fed the baby, I told her my story, how I had just missed her four months ago, the whole bit. I could see Amy’s hand shaking as she fed the baby, and tears running down her cheeks, but didn’t really understand why. This should have been a time for.
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