Does the intense high of an orgasm mean that reality brings an unnatural low??? I want to know how you feel now, a part of me needs reassuring that it...was as intense an experience for you. I push the doubts out of my mind, they were fears of yesterday, of a time when I was not so confident in whom I was. I remind myself that I am a beautiful sensual woman, that I am living in this moment and what comes, will be dealt with when it does. I smile to myself, if he could hear my thoughts he would. I was building my new home nearby at the time, and would take a break during the hot part of the day and run over and check the pool, and usually would take a plunge to cool off. One day, I was in the pool, and noticed a truck pull up in the drive and into the covered carport. Curious, I got out of the water, and introduced myself to this guy. He said my friend had contracted him to do some work on the patio roof, and had his ladder and tools and started to work. I told him I was my friend's. "Well, I don't really know what to say Cassie. But, you're right. You're a grown-up now and you are free to do as you please. It's not really any of my business," I murmured. I was secretly relieved that Cassie had no idea that I was lusting after her. It would stay that way, if she was, in fact, going to stay here the rest of the summer. I would have to be more careful with myself. That last thought disgusted me. More careful? Maybe I should just not have the hots for my own daughter and I. I'd just die if anyone ever saw!Oh well. After Tuesday, it won't really matter, I guess. No one will see that part of me, even if the service is open-casket.I wonder if Brenda will come to my funeral.DEE'S DIARYSATURDAY, MAY 5thDear Diary,This is going to be a long entry. I finally told somebody! I still can't believe it. I never even wrote about it in my journal after "the event"... I couldn't bring myself to even think about it! But now I've told Brenda, and I believe that maybe if I write it.
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