I'm not worthy of her.I was crying as I wrote that and I allowedtwo teardrops to fall on the page and I heldit up so they'd run down the page.That boo... was my heart.By now everyone was silent.Almost everyone was crying.Lisa had started crying when she scanned her pages,before she read it aloud.Our eyes met. The look in her eyes made the tearspour down my face. Pure love, kindness, compassion.She tipped her head down at my diary and added a few of her own tears and held it up it let them. She looked at her predatory squatter and decided he hadn't noticed anything unusual."Bela Lagosi was the name of one of the players," she continued. "I liked his name, so eventually, I took that name as my own and made it a little more Rumanian – Byla – like a Gypsy. But 'y' doesn't sound like 'e' anymore, and nobody pronounced it right, so I just added an accent to Mr. Lagosi's first name, and pronounce it like a long 'a'." Haw!" the old man barked. "Clever! So something I wrote actually. ”A laughing Todd poured another shot and opened up a beer for Gert.She raised the shot glass in a toast. The other regulars followed suit. Then she downed it in one swallow.“At least there is one gentleman in the house,” Gertrude slurred.“Hell Tom ain’t no gentleman. He just wants to be first in line the night you get drunk enough to fuck us all.” Todd shook his head laughing as the regulars kept up their conversation. Over time he would learn this was a nightly ritual. Finally, the guys. If so, how could she be so cold? That first orgasm had been so intense that it had literally changed my outlook on life and my own sexuality. Daddy on the other hand was a warm and gentle man. His beautiful smile and gentle hugs seemed to make up for the lack of affection my Mom provided. He was very protective of me. But if truth be told, I didn’t need much protection from boys. They never gave me a second look. Although I had just turned 18, I was only 5’ tall, and looked like a child with.
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