Watching her smoke, as well as my mother and her other friends, but particularly Aunt Ann was just, became captivating to me. I didn't understand why ... would become erect and have to run to my room to play with myself. It was fascinating to me.I then remember, thanksgiving maybe, where we were all sitting around the dinner table. Aunt Ann's husband smoked a pipe which she kept in her purse. And when he wanted his pipe, he would ask her to light (or refill) his pipe. She was sitting across the. .. my whole fucking life... without sex, without a man... a man like you Aamir!I was bewildered - " Hey wait.. you said, 'All these damned lost and wasted years... my whole fucking life... without sex, without a man, without sex, without a man', then I saw you making love, having sex, from that window just an hour ago. What was that Ms. Jane?" I asked her."Oh. Aamir you were listening carefully, You are a smart boy. You have caught me, I think now I need to tell you the truth." Ms. Jane. One such time, my sister had a track meet out of town and my parents asked Cindy if she would stay at the house and be my babysitter for about a week. Cindy was enthusiastic to say the least. The first night, she slept in my brothers old bedroom (he was over in Vietnam at the time). I could not sleep and I tossed and turned. I got up and went into Cindys room, she was awake also. Cindy said, Whats wrong sweet heart? I responded I could not sleep. She asked, Do you want to sleep in here with me,. "Better," she said, and turned away.It's a good thing I didn't bump into anyone else in the hallway.Fighting back a hysterical laugh--or was it a sob?--I reached thewomen's toilet--another urge to break into giggles--my steps clickingloudly on the ceramic tiles--a desperate effort to not see myself inthe mirror--why the hell are their so many mirrors in the girls' room?--didn't want to see myself--the slender legs and long shiny hair and--Iflung myself into a stall and collapsed onto the seat.
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