I'm weakfrom the lack of food from this stupid diet he wants me on. I may notmake it to tomorrow night. I looked up my meals and I'm on a 450calorie...a day diet coupled with all of that exercise. It's literallynothing to eat except dry salad and yogurt. Thank god for the coke.If I don't write tomorrow, diary, wish me luck!End Diary EntryDiary Entry: March 2007As I write this, I can barely move. It's Monday afternoon. I called insick. I think I am sick, like really sick, as if my insides. We're here now, together. Our love has survived this, and now it's even stronger because of what has happened."He hugged me, and said, "I'll clean up here while you get dressed", but I said, "No, WE will do the dishes together, and then we can go on from there. I'd love a ride in that lovely car of yours again!"Quickly, we washed the dishes and put everything away, although it would have been even quicker if we hadn't stopped to hug and kiss every now and then. I took a quick shower and, since. Speaking of which, something was perking between her -- Mom -- and Elaine -- Dr. Elaine Smathers, OB-GYN. The strange noises in the night were getting stranger. I'd do some snooping after school. No secrets, right? Don't want Mom's life getting complicated, after all, do we?Then I saw Missy and Mike, and for a moment I thought maybe they were back together, but they just happened to be standing side-by-side, looking in opposite directions, obviously lost. So we all coalesced, the five of us. I still fantasized about her from time to time, but mostly, I just wistfully thought of what it would have been like if we'd never moved away.Now I know we all have those "what if" moments. You know, where we all think, "What if I had done it this way," or, "What if I had said that when I needed to." For me, when it came to my thoughts of Erwin, it was a lot more than just, "what if"! For me, it was almost a craving to know what it would be like if I had never lost contact with her.Well, as.
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