Ioften lay there pounding my pillow, hating the thoughts I had. I was surethat only queers would have this kind of feeling. But I wanted more thanan...thing to touch his cheek again and feel his body in my arms. But Ihated myself for these evil thoughts---these unGodly, dirty thoughts.We had Mike and Tom at our home several times on weekends. I did my bestalways to be friendly, but I tried to avoid looking at him. Whenever I didlook at him, I could see him looking at me. Sometimes I. His car was missing, and the k**s asked for him... I told them he was... out. I spent the afternoon in my room thinking about the coming night. I bathed and prepared my clothes. Not much to get ready in that department. One linen coat, one pair of silver sandal pumps, one pair of black thigh high nylons.I put on my makeup and was ready by 6PM. Per Robert's instructions I sat in my room, wearing the nylons and pumps. No coat. Just my jewelry - wedding and engagement rings, anniversary ring,. 2 The Last Evening„What shall we do at our last evening? “Ella asks. I haven’t thought about this but Masha answers in her straightforwardly way: „Let’s continue this evening like we did the other ones. Let’s play a game for example with three dice. We built a sum by three digits, the lowest is multiplied with 100, the second with 10 and the highest with one. Example you roll 3, 5 and 2, that’s 235, you roll 6, 6 and 1, that’s 166 you lose. And every time we find a loser he or she must take off. At 9, Victor Edmonson and Amy Lockerman met us on the capitol steps. There were a lot of people going into the senate office building. There were reporters from dozens of stations. They each had their own spot picked out. We walked by without anyone recognizing me, and I was glad of it!We were in our seats by 9:45 after going by security. The ID cards that we had allowed entry without going through the security process. Vicky and I had split my computers into separate cases so Vicky and I were.
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