I don't want to leave the library period! Grandma says there's one within biking distance to our new house but I know every inch of this one. I feel w...rse about leaving it than I do home! It's my refuge. It's been the one place I could go that I wouldn't have to put up with Shelly's antics or the Rents. I like it here. I don't want to move to the city. I like the hills and being close to the beach. I'm going to miss hiking in the woods and sitting on the beach reading and listening to the waves. I never stay out of eye sight one because although I enjoy this new game in our lives I still love and am married to a woman I swore to protect so I keep an eye on her drinks and make sure nothing undesired happens. But I also get off on watching her flirt and seeing her freedom. She meets the suitor, they do not greet as friends but as singles meeting for the first time; she enjoys the chase as much as I like watching it. She does not make it easy for him she engages others and makes him. ." No, let me finish. My mental baggage. Mark, if you took me as your girlfriend, I don't know how I'll act when you want to get sexy with me. I might be okay one moment, and then just freak out the next. I just don't know, and I don't want to frustrate you, especially with something as intimate as sexual arousal. And all your friends Mark! I think of you now so differently than I did before! But trying to push this to guys in general, learning to trust... It's something I really have to work. I fled for several minutes before I was in too much pain to run anymore. I found myself in a park and I carefully eased myself down next to a tree overlooking one of the roads that ran along the park. I was such a fool. I should have listen to my gut instinct and walked away. Then I wouldn?t have this bullet hole through my leg with shattered glass needling my face. I couldn?t go to a hospital since my father would place people there to monitor them. That thought led me to another.
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