The worst had been the dream on John's couch. I'd begun to think of it as "The Pillar Dream." And not only did I wake up unfulfilled, but also depress...d because I never got to see His face. My dreams the rest of the week had been much the same. Most of them I can barely remember, but the feeling of loss is the same every morning. Loss and raging horniness. I may have to find my own bar-pickup if this keeps up. I have no illusions that I'll find The One in a bar, but sometimes a girl just needs. Others were Mormons who had taken a different route north from Mississippi and were waiting to join the vanguard company for the trip west. After a two-day rest at Fort Laramie, I went with them as they continued on their way to Fort Bridger. I agreed to guide them until I could find Crow or Shoshoni guides for them. Two former Crow and two former Shoshoni men from our village went with me. We stopped for an hour when we got to the salt deposit and they watched as I blasted loose several. ‘Got this one about a year ago and it’s served me well,’ he said, as he clipped it in his shirt pocket and tapped it a few times. I just gawked at him waiting for him to continue. ‘Oh, I notice you don’t have one,’ he said, pointing to my shirt. I looked down. Indeed I did not. ‘I want you to take a look at this,’ he said, pulling a picture out from his desk drawer and handing it over. It was a picture of me heading out of the building through the metal detectors with yesterday’s date stamped. My turn to blush. "Thank you... I think". I replied.I was frozen to the spot, not sure what to say. The bulge in his boxers seemed even bigger. "This may sound like a strange thing to ask..." He added tentatively. "But can I see them properly?" He asked."See them properly?" I repeated, taken aback by his question."Yes." My breasts?" Yes, I want to see them properly, both of them." He smiled."But, but I'm your mum..." So?" Well, I, I err...I don't know, It's just wrong." I stuttered."Says who?".
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