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Does it expose me as a total Neanderthal?”“No, it’s practical yet tasteful. Works. How much time do you actually spend here?”“Oh, a few days...a month,” he said. “Come in, check mail, do a bit of shopping if I need something...” His face changed subtly. “Land-based version of the boat.”“Interesting,” I said. “What’s the rest of the house?”He led me up the hall. “Guest room.”“Really IS a guest room,” I noted. “Most of the time, ‘guest room’ is filled with junk.”“Oh, now if you wanna talk ‘junk’,. Aubrey was on the bed with you and I was sitting here in the chair. We had a movie playing on the laptop. All of a sudden we realized you were watching it. I hit the panic button on the 2-way and Moms and Pa were out here in less than a minute. All that time you were staring at the laptop and then at me and then at Aubrey. When Moms and Pa came rushing in you looked like you were in a flat-out panic. You started to hyperventilate and then passed out.”“You wouldn’t believe what happened. I was. It did its job. The injection tube I used (the 30”- 3/8” PVC sink supply line) to penetrate my uterus and womb fit perfectly and slid in smoothly with the blunt end. The supply line was secured in me by the same pelvic harness I used for my ant torture of my womb. It did a great job keeping the tube secured in me once the pressure of the hot water flow started. The winch that I used to stretch me out and immobilize me and timer worked great. With my legs tendered wide over the floor drain in. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number.13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.15. Be careful about reading the fine print ... there's no way you're going to like it.16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with.
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